Maybe this is why I can't keep friends

I've been having a struggle lately. Work has been insanely stressful; much more than I like to admit. I've been coming off of my meds, which has made me extremely emotional. I'm a lot more forgetful than ever now. But I can get through it right? I can get through this if I have people around me. The right people, of course.

A coworker is trying to manipulate me. I'm not sure if he knows it or not but I do. I can see right through that. And so I've had to shut him down. I thought we could be friends but... 

Thursday was the hardest. Thursday morning..... at the start of my shift (why???) I received a text message from my best friend that he no longer wanted to be in contact with me. So I guess... I dunno... ex best friend....

That broke me.

I can't help but think I'm the one who caused this. That I am the one who's inadequate. My husband, after reading the text, says he doesn't think it's me.

But I can't help but ... know... that it is. I just feel like if he had spoken to me about it before it got to this point, it could have been avoided. But I know I'm missing vital info.

I'll probably always be missing vital info.

Maybe I made a mistake allowing this to happen in the first place. Because I wasn't sidelining anyone.

It's so hard to even think.

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