Better Late Than Never, Right?

Oops. I wrote this a week ago...

I may not post everyday but I should at least make an effort to write. It’s good for me.

 

I haven’t been feeling well lately. I’ve been getting these really terrible headaches. And I’m the type of person that will try to tough it out and won’t take anything. I think that’s because when I do take something, it doesn’t do much anyway. At least sometimes. Those are the bad ones. And nothing helps but sleep. Which makes me wonder if it’s sleep related. It’s just so draining. I just need to sleep. For days. Just to catch up.

 

In other news, I didn’t have any nightmares last night for once. It actually wasn’t that bad of a dream. I don’t remember it though. When I was younger, I thought that things in dreams meant something. My mom had one of those dream dictionaries that I would look through after I had a dream that I remembered. And I really believed that stuff. I found signs in things that weren’t signs.

 

Speaking of, I remember my dad praying over me when I was about 19 years old. And he said something that I took as absolute truth. He said something along the lines of “Your future husband will pray before going on your first date.” Or something to that effect. So, I was always bummed when I was picked up for a date and this didn’t happen. Like…. Don’t say stuff like that to young and impressionable me. I take it very serious.

 

I shared this with my dad years later about how I had been waiting for this sign, and he was like “oh no. I was just thinking about how cool that would be. Not that it would happen.” Like… dad. Pastor Dad. Don’t do that to me. No, my dad isn’t a pastor. But he did go to college for that. I wonder what ever came of that? For a time though, he may as well have been a pastor, you know?

 

I was so afraid of commitment because I was afraid I’d marry the wrong person. Like… I had one shot and I wasn’t allowed to miss. That’s really stressful. The good news is that I’m pretty sure I got a bulls eye. But marriage is hard still. I can’t imagine how life would be if I had married Darby. Or Chris (not to be confused with Christopher). I’m pretty glad I had cold feet there.

 

But yeah, signs. Not sure how to feel about those. If God does divvy out the signs, I’m pretty sure He doesn’t do it that way. That or I screwed up somewhere along the line. But I dunno. I really enjoy coming home to Stephen. 10 out of 10. Would marry again.