No one knows

So, literally, right now I'm sitting at work next to my "HappyLite" natural spectrum light, crying because I have no friends. There are people who talk to me on occasion. Usually men trying to coax me into "hanging out with them", but I know their motives.
Then there are.... Uh, is one who I truly consider a friend, but he's also an ex, so that bridge is damaged. Then below that I have two friendquaintances; more than acquaintance but less than friends.
They don't stop talking to me if I happen to say something stupid, which I often do, but they also hardly talk to me.
And then there's everyone else, whom I want to be friends with but I seem to screw that up. Especially with one person in particular. Who I find horribly fantastic.
Unfortunately I have no social skills and I don't know what is and isn't socially acceptable, so I don't think he likes me anymore.
So, I guess the point of this whole thing is to say three things;
1) I am utterly alone besides my fiancé, and no, that's not enough.
2) no one will help me learn through my social flaws and
3) I'm sorry, Justin. You'll probably never read this, but I think you'd be the coolest friend ever. But to further keep myself from destroying any possible social interaction with you, I'm probably not going to talk to you anymore. I don't think I could deal with you hating me. But I don't think you (or anyone) would care to hear why I'm so effing awkward.

"maybe I should cry for help...." ~Awolnation

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