Undesirable Love

Today was difficult for me. I mean, usually I'm in a pretty melancholy mood. Well, no, I guess it depends. Someone once told me that she thought I was bipolar. I'm not bipolar, I am just able to switch from one thing to another easily. So if I'm depressed, and as long as I can find something that makes me happy, I can make the switch easily. Unless there's a deeper issue that is taking a toll on me.

Anyway....

So today was difficult for me.
(debating whether or not I want to talk about it.... eh, no one reads my blogs anyway lol)

I happen to have a few things I don't like to think about. Like my ex, for example. He's a nice enough guy, but I'm uh... *cough* I'm not exactly over him. Which I suppose is natural. I mean, we dated in February. And I'm not obsessive. At all.

We talk as friends when we talk. We don't ever talk about the relationship we had or could have had. We knew it wasn't meant to be and put it behind us. But I can't help but get sad about it sometimes and I'm not sure why.

It makes me so mad that I know he isn't right for me and yet I still love him. Grr.

But it also makes me feel horribly guilty for even having feelings in the first place. And I don't express my concern about this as much as I should.

Oh wait, I have no friends to express this to.

In conclusion, I don't believe love is ever wrong, but it is painful.

...sometimes I wish I had never met him. But on the other hand, he did make a good friend for a time...

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